“I’ll be right back, okay? Love you.”
That was me. Talking to no humans. Talking only to two dogs, who look up at me every time I leave with eyes that I must believe ask how long I’ll be.
Because, to dogs, isn’t time longer? Or is that just a Secret Life of Pets thing? Do dogs really think that when we leave, we will never return – or at the very least – it will take an eternity for us to come back? Is that a real thing?
I heard a podcast once preview itself by wondering if her dog was racist, because it barked more ferociously when black people visited. That has nothing to do with me talking to my dogs, but it just is something I’d love a podcast to go into. The whole dog-time thing. And, I still want to hear if her dog was racist, because my dogs seem to do the same thing.
I’m just a dog-talker kind of person, I guess. I ask them questions. Just did a few minutes ago, wondering aloud whose poop was who’s in the backyard, since two dogs and two turtles, coupled with a Romeo-type neighbor dog who visits, gives me options.
I even apologize to my dogs, saying sorry to them when I need to close the dishwasher and they’re not done assessing the leftover bits on the dirty plates. Or, if I step on them in the dark, or bump into them when they’re directly under my feet while cooking in the kitchen.
You’re going to kill me.
I’ve said that before, too. To them. Because they always find that spot, the one behind me, that trips me up when I decide to take a step back. It’s like they have to be so close they need to feel me. Or maybe they place bets with each other on who can injure me first. That’s probably it.
I don’t really know what it means that I’m a dog-talker, because I would think that most dog-people are. And dogs try to hard to understand, right? I do think the fact that I apologize to them, or tell them that I’ll be right back shows something about me as a person.
I care what my dogs think about me. Animals that love you no matter what. Animals that can’t tell your secrets and instantly forgive you for being gone FOREVER.
That’s why I always tell them I’ll be right back. Their hearts deserve to know.