Does The World Really Need Assholes?

It seems like an obvious answer – about people. Who wants to be around one? Or deal with one? Or even peripherally witness or interact with one?

I’m going to say no one. Unless you’re one of those assholes who likes to spar with other assholes. That’s a whole different diagnosis. And also someone I don’t want to be around.


If you think about it like the animal kingdom, every little thing is here for a reason. Even if they’re gross or slimy or bite the heads of their mates or get around the planet by slithering. I’m not even saying all those types of animals are assholes, I’m just saying they have a purpose.

They cultivate something. Or they gather or pollinate or they are dinner for some other animal. And the freakiest are here to star in National Geographic productions – the original reality TV.

The Praying Mantis — the first asshole in the animal kingdom that comes to mind.

I can’t speak for the animal kingdom, on whether those guys learn from watching the habits of the critters around them. But I can speak for humans.

I think we need assholes. Need may be a strong word. Benefit might be better. Learn from also works.

If we didn’t have the assholes in the world who lie and cheat and generally treat other humans like garbage, we’d probably be softies. If there was no one around to show us how ugly humans are capable of being, we’d likely not celebrate all the beauties as often.

While this is starting to sound a little church-y, despite all the profanity, my only religion is the universe – which is made of millions of animals that have purpose. Humans included.

Assholes, too.