Our President Reminds Me Of A Toddler

When my youngest was little, which is weird to say because she’s still “little,” but anyway, — when she was younger, like 2 or so, she had the most adorable catch phrase.

“Be back.”

That’s it. Two words, strung together quickly, just before she turned and ran from wherever she was. She would return with a stuffed animal or a nerf gun or an empty bladder.  Whatever it was, she would always “be back.”

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Pretty sure she returned with that cupcake after saying, “Be back.”

She did this other thing, too, and I didn’t really remember it until our president reminded me of it. She would contradict herself. Constantly. In the same sentence. And, it was never subtle.

“I never do that, except sometimes.”

“I love strawberries. But, I don’t like them.”

“I always put my (insert anything) here. Except I don’t really, ever.”

Her demonstrative statements always made me laugh. I wrote some down, even, in a little book I kept of goofy things the kids would say or do.

It just kind of pains me that the habits of a toddler remind me of our elected leader. Man, that’s a crazy thing. And, it’s not even a big jump. It’s so ridiculously true it’s painful.

It’s been evident for a while, unless you’re blinded by your devotion to your political party or somehow lived in a cave for the past few years. But his toddler-like habit was on bold display following the release of the redacted Mueller report.

Even after hearing all of his rantings – despite trying to avoid as much coverage of him as possible – his contradictions about the Mueller report reminded me of those moments in parenthood when you catch a kid in a lie and they just keep going to see how far they can take it.

My favorite thing to come from this presidency — flips flops with his flip flops.

First, he loved the report. It was a complete vindication, so he spouted. But when the black-lined version was released, and it revealed a number of sketchy details, along with the deduction that he avoided obstruction only by the conscience of his staff who refused to go along with his devious orders – his ego couldn’t take it.

Because no one “disobeys” his orders.

So which is it?  Did you sneak a cookie when you weren’t supposed to?  Or not?

The thing about toddlers, and adults who act like them in their deceit, is that there are people who are much smarter than them around them. Much smarter. Much more worldly.  And, much more in tune with the consequences of dishonesty.

Toddlers have time to learn. Our president? He doesn’t know how else to operate. So yeah, I’m saying I’d take the honesty of a kindergartener over that of our elected leader. And that’s nuts.

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