Watching Her Find Her Is The Best

She’s been adamant about how she wants to look since she had the physical strength to make decisions about her appearance and the verbal wherewithal to communicate it.

Since I can remember, that’s what that means.

And she’s never been more adamant about anything that I can remember, related to the way she wants to look, than this day.

Teal. Hair dye. In as many places as I could get it.

You might be turning into Billie Eilish

That’s what I told her.

She’s her favorite singer at the moment, temporarily (I think) taking over first place from Shawn Mendes – two radically different artists.

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To be sure, she still has a massive soft spot and deeply emotional facial expressions anytime Shawn comes on.

She’s at that phase, where facial expressions and vocal runs make their way into her singing. She’s feeling it. And she doesn’t care what anybody thinks.


Yes, she was inspired for the teal color after seeing that one of her two best friends had tried it – and it looked boss. And she knew it was possible because she has a mom (me) who uses Kool-Aid to keep a pink streak vibrant in her hair, and she has been running around with a similar color in her hair for a while now.

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So why the heck not? It’s summer. It’s a fun color. She’s little. And who the hell cares, anyway? None of those variables really matter at all. It’s just hair. Which is why her brother was free to grow his to a totally unruly state.

She didn’t do it to be pretty. Or punk. Or funny. It wasn’t out of resentment or emotional angst and it wasn’t some cry for help.

She did it because it’s her. She looks good with it. Or without it. And I’ll tell her that every day, because she’s heard otherwise.

It’ll look great with the funky knee socks she loves. The overlapping stripe of cherry dye that turned some strands a beautiful purple. It’ll look great if she’s in a band, playing house, riding a skateboard or studying her math homework (once school starts again).

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All the tones. 

It looks amazing because it just means she’s finding herself. Finding what fits and how it makes her feel. And she knew this would make her feel incredible.