Straw Poll: Glass Wins

It dawned on me when I had three, 20-minute sessions to stare at the ceiling in the dentist’s office as a goopy, peroxide mixture did its best to brighten 41 years of life from my teeth.

I’d need a straw.

And that was a complicated thing, because it kind of contradicts our whole “we’re done with straws” edict – which came from our “single-use plastics are gross and killing the Earth” thing.

I wasn’t about to give up Coke, my daily, 12-ounce indulgence. So a straw would have to become my new accessory.

I’ve tried paper. Meh. I realize they may be the answer, in the future, and they work in some places better than others. Not to sound snotty or anything, but Hawaii has nailed it. Their paper straws are money. And make you feel good for doing the right thing, as the ocean crashes just outside the restaurant you’re at, a cat wandering under your table.

It’s all kinds of magical.

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Lava Lava. A magical, beach walk-up where a cat may tickle your feet during dinner.

We keep silicone straws in the car, and haven’t really tapped into them yet. But we plan to in another week or so. But, I’ve given them a test drive, and they’re not bad.

A friend gave us a couple steel straws, which are great – but skinny – and I’m super clumsy, so they’re kind of hard on your teeth if you miss. You know that dance you can do with your straw sometimes as your mouth tries to find it? That. It can be kind of aggressive with a steel straw.

And then I found glass. Because, I forgot my steel straw at home the VERY FIRST DAY I NEEDED A STRAW AFTER THE DENTIST. I forgot to mention I can be a forgetful dingbat sometimes.

Cue Whole Foods and their $20 glass straw. What? Yeah. A $20 straw. I love the environment and I love dolphins and seals and coral and I can even respect sharks, but I don’t love it for a $20 straw.

Lucky for me, they had an $8 economy version at the coffee shop. All glass, just like its expensive cousin on the other shelf. It came with a cute little brush, like every respectable reusable straw does, and it kind of felt fancy. As fancy as a straw can feel.

Beyond feeling fancy though, it was just the best one of the bunch – of paper, steel and silicone. Glass wins.

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Although I have zero experience with it, it does feel a little reminiscent of smoke shop paraphernalia, even though it’s not. It’s more like environmental paraphernalia. Fancy, affordable, responsible environmental paraphernalia. Yep – bottoms up.